10/21

            I got my essay and CWT score back today. Rab graded our score in about 5 seconds in front of us. Though we knew that Rab took time to give us feedback before, some of us might felt uncomfortable about it. However, what Rab did to us was tantamount to finish my essay in 5 days and make the same mistakes that I made on Book Review, or maybe it was worse thing to do. My essay grade was much worse than Book Review score. By looking at some comments from Rab, I could see some fragments in my essay. I also did not put proper thesis statement. Moreover, I did not notice that I use a lot of “I” and “we”, which is the same mistake that I made in Book Review. I did try not to use these words, but somehow I did. In the next essay, I will check how many times I used “I” and “we” by using tool that Rab taught us. In addition, I should spend much more time working on peer editing. I am thinking that I can ask other friend (who is not the member of our section) to give me some comments about my essay.

            The topic I chose for this essay maybe did not fit me. It took me a lot of time to think about my topic. I got this idea (suicide in Japan) first, but since the topic was not sprightly topic and rather downbeat, I had a feeling that I wanted to change some topic that is more happy and hopeful. However, because I kept stumbling about the topic only by myself and never went to tutorial for asking any help to Rab, I just came to compromise with this topic, which was awful start for me to write essay. I will make sure that this time, I am going to choose the topic that I am really happy with.  Race is one of the good topics for my essay, but I am not sure that I can broaden this issue. I am interested in the different criterion for beauty in each countries like the story Rab told us about Italy women tend to grow out body hair and never shave, which is surprising for Japanese women. However, I am not sure if I can make this topic academic and controversial.